6 ALTERNATIVES TO "LORD MAYOR"

Turns out nobody in the Wellington area is particularly keen on the title, "Lord Mayor" for whoever is lucky enough to end up being in charge of the capital's version of Auckland's super city. Are you with me? Anyway, I thought I'd offer a few second choices...

1: Your Royal Majesty Mayor On High. Not much less pompous than Lord Mayor, but a bit.

2: Super Mayor. I've often wondered why Len Brown didn't go for this one. Instead he went with the slightly less cool, "Mayor In a Chair."

3: Sauron. Come on, they'll basically be ruling the capital of Middle Earth. Give them a ring and a bad-ass volcano too.

4: Boss Hogg. There are some obvious similarities between the Wellington region and Hazzard County, revolving mostly around traffic issues. Nothing a few Roscoe P. Coltrane-style speed-traps wouldn't sort out. It's good for the boss's first name to actually be "Boss" too, I reckon. (If you still have no idea what I'm on about, google Dukes of Hazzard. The original awesome TV series, not the try-hard movie remake)

5: Mum. Automatically generates a climate of respect AND she'll have the authority to send any whinging ratepayers to their rooms.

6: Ooh! Ah! Umaga! Admittedly, this really only works if they elect Tana Umaga, but he'd be as good as anyone, wouldn't he?