6 THINGS TO DO WHEN THE GREAT FLOOD COMES

Yes, this is another camping one. We've never stayed in a tent before so we weren't quite sure what to expect. Apparently, modern camping technology still hasn't really solved that whole "keep-the-rain-out" thing, as we discovered about 3:30 one morning when we experienced one of those charming Northland summer showers. As protector of my brood, my natural survival instincts kicked in the second I realised things weren't as water-tight as we'd hoped. Here's how I prevented us from drowning in our beds. (Well, lilos actually, but you know what I mean)

1: Torches. That was my job. Make sure we had enough torches. Before we left I had amassed a collection of all our torches and then covered myself with the great value 3-pack of LED lights from the Warehouse for $9.99. I then spent about $420 on batteries just to be safe. Good to be able see the water pouring into the tent as well as just hearing and feeling it.

2: Towels. Luckily, as there was no washing machine where we were staying (I know, rugged, eh?) the Domestic Manager had the foresight to pack every towel we own. This was handy for sopping up the pool of water developing by the door. And the one by my daughter's air bed. And the one by the Domestic Manager's air bed. And the one by the bag of towels.

3: Electricity. Okay, so there was no washing machine, but we're not barbarians. How's a bloke supposed to keep his Nokia Lumia charged without an extension cord and a 4-way adapter? I figured I better pack that up before it got too wet.

4: Closing the front door. Geez there are a lot of zips on tents. Obviously the insect bit was closed. And the bit that zips over that. But you know the bit that zips over the bit that zips over the insect bit? We had that bit out on poles as a sort of a verandah. It seemed like a good time to put that down.

5: Fairy lights. What do you mean, "What do you mean, fairy lights?" It was the holidays - just because it's a tent doesn't mean you can't keep things festive. I did begin to worry the fairy lights rubbing against the tent might be the cause of some of our leakage though, so I bit the bullet took them down too.

6: Raincoats. Glad we decided to bring a big bag of raincoats. Pity I'd left them outside in the car.