6 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THE NEW NEW ZEALAND HERALD

It's not a tabloid, it's just compact, okay? Well, whatever it is, it's certainly smaller than it used to be. We didn't ask for it, but I'm sure it's way better. Here's why...

1: Less newsprinty fingers. Hopefully, less size means less ink. I hate having to wash my hands after reading, don't you?

2: More room in my letterbox. This means I can now accommodate the pre-Christmas influx of junk mail. I just love junk mail, don't you?

3: The pictures of sharks and supermodels aren't so scary. When it comes to sharks, small is good. Same goes for supermodels, I suppose. Now if we can just get them to stop publishing completely pointless pictures of sharks and supermodels with no news value, we'd REALLY be getting somewhere.

4: It's lighter. When you're recovering from a dislocated shoulder, every gram counts.

5: By comparison, it makes this blog look like a weighty tome... almost longwinded and drawn-out... a bit like this sentence...

6: That hilarious game, "Hide the Herald" has become so much more challenging. Now you can hide it simply ANYWHERE... in the cereal box... behind the couch cushions... on the internet... anywhere!