HOW TO BEAT MITT ROMNEY AT DEBATING IN 6 EASY STEPS

For some reason I find Mitt Romney really funny. It's nothing personal, I think it's just something to do with the way he acts and the things he says. But if you're considering debating him for the Presidency any time soon, here are a few helpful hints...

1: Come out dressed as Big Bird.

2: Carry a large binder under one wing marked "WOMEN".

3: Open with a dog joke. Nothing too complicated, maybe something like, "Just drove in from another state and boy am I DOG-tired."

4: Answer every question by saying, "47 percent." Technically, you'll probably be wrong. Morally, you'll be really right.

5: Slip Mitt a note that reads, "Don't look now, but your secret temple undergarments are showing."

6: Refute all his wild and completely unfounded right-wing allegations on joblessness, healthcare and terrorism with actual facts and statistics. Or failing that, just go with another dog joke.