6 ALTERNATIVE FORMS OF GOVERNMENT

Well, how about Egypt, eh? I never realised they were so Fijian. Sure, electing people by coup is a fun way of running a country, but it's not the only one...

1: Who Has the Best Fireworks and Laser Pointers. Oh, that's right. That IS how they decided who would be in charge of Egypt. Certainly going by the images I've seen this week anyway.

2: Who Has the Most Facial Hair. This is why Bashar al-Assad is having such a tough time of it in Syria. Try as he might, he just can't seem to get a decent moustache going. Now Saddam Hussein; there was a guy with an impressive mo.

3: Go Home Stay Home. It took Aung San Suu Kyi a while, but she got there in the end.

4: Who Lives the Longest. This system has worked amazingly well for Fidel Castro. The big, bushy beard probably helps too. (see Number 2)

5: Who Has the Best Party. I don't mean political party. I mean bunga bunga party - right Sylvio? You know what I always say; it's not a party until someone gets sentenced to 7 years in prison.

6: The Biggest Party is Held To Ransom by a Minor Party Hardly Anyone Voted For Because There Aren't Any Other Coalition Partners Left. No, that's ridiculous. Nobody would choose an electoral system as obviously flawed as that.