6 THINGS I HAVE TO HIDE

"If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear." We've all heard this quite a bit in relation to the GCSB being granted more powers to spy on us. Can't fault the logic. However, unfortunately I have a long list of things I don't want other people to know about me, and here it is...

1: I Sleep With My Cat. It's completely innocent, I assure you. But if word got out, you could see how people could jump to conclusions.

2: I Eat Too Much Cheese. Obviously, I personally don't think it's too much cheese, but more conventional cheese consumers might raise an eyebrow if they discovered real truth.

3: The Way I Treat My Kids. I've got a reputation to protect; I can't have people thinking sometimes I'm actually nice to them. (Only when I'm tired, I swear)

4: My Trackies. Most of us have a grotty old pair of track pants we can't wait to put on as soon as we get home, but we wouldn't be caught dead in them out in public. Disturbingly, I have TWO pairs - a bad pair and an even WORSE pair I can't even bring myself to describe. Let's just put the words, "grey marl" out there and leave it at that. Man they're comfy though.

5: Asymmetrical Body Parts. We all have them. Some are out there for everyone to see. Some should never be seen ever by anyone. Let's keep them that way.

6: The Catalogue of Songs I Wrote When I Was a Teenager. Talk about your weapons of mass destruction. If these fell into the wrong hands... well... I don't even want to think about it.