6 THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT THE AMERICA'S CUP

Complicated business this. Here's what I've discovered after closely watching 3 races...

1: A Harbour Helps. Alinghi never had one of these, primarily due to Switzerland being pretty land-locked. Oh, sure they still won a bit, but San Francisco's actual ocean really adds something.

2: Foiling Through the Jibe. This is what everyone is trying to do. It's really important. If you can foil through the jibe, you'll have a real advantage. Pretty sure the commentators have no idea what foiling through the jibe is either.

3: You Don't Need As Many Teams As You Might Think. Remember when we used to do the America's Cup here in New Zealand? Yes you do. It's been a while, but we did. Anyway, when we used to do it, we really went overboard (excuse the pun) and had teams from all over the place. Totally old school. These days, 4 is heaps.

4: You Don't Need As Many Teams As You Might Think. This is for each actual race. Despite everything you ever thought you knew about anything, it's totally okay for one team to race another even if one of them isn't there.

5: It's Hard to Make a Good Joke About Alcatraz. So far, the best one I've heard is, "These guys are sailing so fast, they should go to jail!" Comedy gold. Ah well, presumably Alcatraz WILL be turning up for every race, so I'm sure they'll have plenty of time to come up with something slightly more memorable.

6: The Whole Thing Isn't a Monumental Waste of Everybody's Time, Money and Resources. At all. In any way. Not silly. Or ridiculous. I want to make that quite clear.