6 OTHER THINGS SBW COULD HAVE DONE

Sonny Bill Williams claims he was too focused on the NRL Grand Final to make himself available for the Kiwis, but now he has, and now they want him. I wonder if there are other opportunities he passed up just because he was to damned focused at the time...

1: U.N. Weapons Inspector. I can't speak for Bashar Al-Assad, but I know if I'd been hiding my chemical weapons from a bunch of nerdy scientists and suddenly SBW turned up demanding I hand them over, I'd probably hand them over. There'd be no religious awkwardness either. Perfect.

2: Lawn Mowing Contractor. With guns like those, he'd have Auckland's berms tidied up in no time.

3: Wing Attack. The Silver Ferns really need to get this sorted. Apparently.

4: Grand Inquisitor on High. This is a new position, above the Supreme Court now the Privy Council isn't an option. I imagine Sonny Bill sitting on some kind of throne, wearing some kind of ceremonial robes, wielding some kind of lethal-looking sceptre. You'd present your appeal to him and he'd just say, "Yup" or "Nup." Things would go pretty badly for you if the answer was, "Nup" though.

5: Kiwi Curator at Wellington Zoo. Seriously, what are these guys doing down there? Stop feeding them poisoned bark. It's not that complicated. I'm pretty sure even Sonny Bill could get that right. Especially now he's definitely decided he wants to be a Kiwi himself.

6: U.S. Government Fixer. Many experts have claimed SBW really brings a team together on the field. If he could apply that talent to Capitol Hill and bring Obama and the Republican Party together, he really would be worth every penny.