6 REPLACEMENTS FOR 100% PURE

It's pretty safe to say, after our biggest company tried to give babies botulism, we probably can't keep claiming we're 100% Pure. This week, I posed a couple of alternatives; "Still Reasonably Pure" and "Purer than Some Others"... but so far neither suggestion has really caught on. Possibly because there's no such word as "Purer." So let's try out a few others...

1: Not Chernobyl, Fukushima or Three Mile Island. See? Could be a lot worse.

2: 100% Hobbit. Okay, not strictly accurate, but possibly more accurate than the pure thing.

3: Your Relaxation Destination. If we're this relaxed about food safety, imagine how relaxing a WHOLE HOLIDAY would be!

4: 456 Days Since Our Last Botulism Contamination and Counting. You can't argue with the stats.

5: Supervision Provided. Not just of your kids in the pool - we'll be watching everyone, everywhere. Thanks, GCSB.

6: It Was Just One Little Pipe in Hautapu for God's Sake! ...a bit confrontational? Perhaps.