Wednesday 25 September 2013

6 THINGS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE AMERICA'S CUP

It's been encouraging to see the balanced reaction the New Zealand sporting public has had to Emirates Team New Zealand's inexplicable inability to win one more stupid race after winning eight so easily. So glad we, as a nation, are more than capable of keeping these things in perspective. I'm sure we'd be perfectly satisfied to see Dean Barker's head on a pike and we could just leave it at that. However, it's always good to remember there are a few other things that matter even more...


1: Pizza. You can't eat a cup, whereas your average slice of pizza represents each of the major food groups. That's not scientifically proven or anything, but I like telling people it's true. Also, as opposed to a $100million America's Cup campaign, my nearest Dominos has large pizzas on special for $4.99 pick-up. Economically AND nutritionally, it's just a better option.

2: Bourbon. Yes, you can drink it from an Auld Mug if you have one, but we don't so move on. Swig it straight from the bottle if you need to, and right now, you probably need to.




3: The Local Body Elections. 

...nah, just jokes.






4: The Ranfurly Shield. That's if you live in the Counties/Manukau area. On the other hand, if you live in Waikato, the shield doesn't matter at all. Twice.





5: Gaelic Football. I watched this for the first time at the gym the other day and it looked really fun. We know how to kick. We can pass. Not sure how good we are at bouncing, but I'm sure we'd get the hang of it. Can't be as tricky as "foiling upwind" surely.



6: The U.N. General Assembly. I don't really know what happens there, but with every powerful world leader together in one place, surely amazing things must be achieved every moment. It's not like it's just some meaningless talk fest, right? What's that? John Key's there too? There you go, I rest my case. Really, really, incredibly important.

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