6 NEWS STORIES THAT AREN'T STORIES

This week was the week of the 64th Tomatina Festival in the Spanish town of Bunol. That's right, it's an annual event and it's happened 63 times before, making it in no way news of any kind. So why were there stories on it everywhere I looked? Here are some other non-news items I never want to see or hear about again...

1: The Shortest Day. Like La Tomatina, this happens every year. Unlike La Tomatina, you don't even need tomatoes, just a basic understanding of astronomy.

2: The Longest Day. This is certainly a LONGER story than the shortest day, hotter too usually, given it usually happens at the end of December EVERY YEAR.

3: The Price of Flowers on Valentines Day. They will be more expensive than usual. Something to do with a little known law of economics known as, and I think I've got this right, "Supply and Demand".

4: Snow In Winter. It's a meteorological thing, apparently, when it gets cold (like, during winter) snow can happen.

5: Smoking Too Much Dope Makes You Stupid. Anyone who thought this was a story this week is clearly on drugs.

6: Bull-Running/Cheese-Rolling/Bog-Running/Wife-Carrying. Like the tomato throwing, these things also happen at least once every 12 months. Now if a bull rolled someone's wife into a bog, that'd be news.